Love for the Ages

When it comes to romance, the tried-and-true still holds sway over the new. About three quarters of both men and women think that the traditional romantic gestures like picking a bouquet of wildflowers or exchanging chocolate are as sweet as ever according to Harlequin romance report. And when asked to name a romantic act, the number one pick for both sexes was taking walks together. Kissing and candlelit dinners also made it to both men and women's top four. So take heart if your love style is more rose petals than juicy Instant Messages. Clearly, some oldies but goodies never go out of fashion.

Love like Jesus loved us

Why should we love like Jesus? Because God is love. Let us then use God's love for us as a standard for loving others. God's love is an agape kind of love which is translated as charity. The meaning of charity nowadays is simplified to just mean giving something or doing something for the less fortunate. But if charity is the best word to describe agape, the love of God, then it must have a deeper meaning.

But how about how we love? As Christians, we are told to love one another, to love like Jesus loved us. Is this an impossible thing to do? Without God, it would be impossible. Without God, our love will remain based on feelings or selfish motives. God's love is not because He feels like it but because He does love us.

Is your love based on feelings, which are momentary and can just come and go? This is like falling in love as if you were catching a disease, and just as easily falling out of love as if you had a big accident. This kind of love is what many couples start with. But if they just remain in this kind of romantic love, then it will not survive because feelings change and problems arise. Unless a conscious commitment, a deliberate choice is made to love completely, then the love is only a temporary fantasy.

This is why true love can only be complete in Holy Matrimony. Like Christ being wed to His bride, the church, the exchange of persons, of relationships is where love can truly exist. While our concept of love is constantly distorted by movies, love songs, books, and television, sins like fornication and adultery continue to wreck lives and families. Let's not learn love from wrong perverted sources. Let's look God, how He loves us, and love the same way.

Love changes everything

Love is the most powerful, the most energizing, the most transforming force in the world.

Our memories like sparks of fire are reservoirs of the power of the love that we have experienced. To recall the first moment of realizing that you were loved by a particular person is to be present again at that moment of time.

It is to be in touch again with the astonishment that he/she would love you. That other person appeared to be so self-assured, so superior. Why would he / she take notice of you, much less be attracted or care?

Love transforms but not only in its initial surge of excitement, enjoyment and new energy. It continues through the years to draw one toward wholeness, that is, to becoming all that one is meant to be - a loved and loving person.

However transforming and life giving a human love may be, it is transcended by God's love for us. Keep loving and happy weekend everyone:)

Love or Infatuation?

What is love? I've read one definition of love which says " Love is a heterogeneous conglomeration of absurdity calculated to bamboozle the anatomy of the individual who becomes intoxicated with its abominable and irresistible power". Another one says " Love is a feeling you feel when you feel that you're going to get a feeling that you never felt before". Whatever that is, it surely isn't love!

The shortest and most most profound love statement is "God is love". And others would say that it's not that kind of love that they are talking about. Love that is romantic - the hugging and kissing love. But that is the kind of love we are talking about - all true love ->parent for child, husband for wife, girlfriend for boyfriend - all true love comes from God. But for every good thing that God created, the devil has improvised a counterfeit. Love's counterfeit is infatuation. The big question is: how can one discern the counterfeit from the genuine? Here are some differences:

• Infatuation is ruled by feelings, but love's feelings are ruled by principles. In the field of infatuation, the feelings are in charge. But the problem is that our feelings are fickle. They change easily. Today I feel great so I kiss her. Tomorrow I feel terrible so I kick her. That's not love! True love has feelings, tender feelings which are put in the human heart by a caring God. But love is not composed of feelings only. It is feelings plus principle. Moreover, love is not controlled by feelings. It does not do anything and everything it feels. Rather, in true love, the feelings are under the control of principle.

• Infatuation is blind, but love sees and examines. Like Cupid, infatuation is blind. When a girl recognizes that her boyfriend is hooked on drugs but still proceeds with plans for marriage, Cupid has wounded her. When a boy observes his girlfriend flirting continuously with other men, but still goes ahead with the love affair, infatuation has blinded him! True love uses its eyes to see and examine weaknesses of the prospective partner. It is not afraid to ask hard questions nor do difficult examinations.

• Infatuation is in a hurry, but love takes time. Everything of permanent value in life takes time. We can build a shack overnight, but if we are building a house that will stand the fury of a typhoon or hurricane, that takes time. We can put up an artificial Christmas tree overnight, but to grow a real tree takes time. It has to be planted, watered and nourished for weeks, months or years. Love is a plant - a tender, precious plant. Infatuation is ever in a hurry. See her today, court her tomorrow and marry her the day after!Growing a relationship takes time and God expects couples in love to "grow up".

• Infatuation is obsessed with externals, but love is concerned with internals. Puppy love is obsessed with the figure, is a slave to fashion, and is intoxicated with sex appeal. True love admires the figure, appreciates appropriate fashion, and anticipates sexual intimacy within the bond of marriage. But these are not the greatest concerns of true love. True love is more concerned with the personality, the kind of person the partner really is. Love examines the habits, the inner virtues or vices. True love pays attention to the character, the inner self.

• Infatuation is childish but love is mature. Childish and selfish love has little or no concern for the other. It is self-centered. But true love is concerned with the welfare of one's partner. Infatuation cries for gratification today regardless of the consequences later. But true love refrains from enjoying today that which it will regret tomorrow. Infatuation thinks and behaves like a child, but true love is mature - it has put childish ways behind.
  

• Infatuation is a human ditch, but love is a divine ladder. One goes down the other goes up. infatuation is a ditch into which blindfolded people fall, but love is a ladder onto which wide-eyed people climb. so, while infatuation is a human pit, true love is a divine ladder. And every person has the freedom to choose between the tragedy of one and the triumph of the other.
  

Things Every Wife Should Know about her Husband

It is vital that husband and wife must understand each other to experience marital success. Here are facts about men that the woman should master to understand her partner.

• He is Proud to be a Man. While society tends to belittle the woman, it is programed to feed the ego of the man. Since the man believes he is big, it is counterproductive for a woman to constantly belittle him. Since the man thinks he is great, a perceptive woman will respect him. A wise wife does not serve him dishes of humiliation, rather she provides a feast of admiration.

• He Shows Love in Tangible Terms. We have said that love should be frequently expressed in verbal terms - the loving words we say. Love may be shown in aesthetic ways - the tender tokens we give. But many men are most comfortable in revealing love in tangible terms - the pesos and centavos. After all, if the former are present and the latter is absent, wouldn't there be justification of questioning love?

• He Makes Decisions Differently. In general, men are more left brained than women. This means that a man tends to process data logically and sequentially, proceeding from cause to effect. So, in solving problems, the woman is more likely to be subjective and the man, more objective. While the wife uses her gift of intuition, the husband uses his skills of reason. An understanding of these differences will help to minimize conflict. Rather than repel, these differences should attract partners to one another, enabling each to welcome each other's points of view for the enrichment of the decision making process.

• A Man Likes His Wife to be Attractive. Before marriage, a woman takes great care to be as attractive as possible to her mate. But sometimes, after marriage, she devotes less care to her appearance, taking the marital relationship for granted. Every wife should help to provide an answer to her husband's prayer "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one". If ever he was being tempted elsewhere, when a husband arrives home, the temptation should vanish in the sprkle of his wife's beauty and the perfume of her embrace.
  

Secrets to a Successful Marriage

It's always interesting to see old people walking together, holding hands, being so sweet with each other. And I wonder how their relationship remained so strong in so many years that they have been together when I see a lot of broken marriages and broken families. In a book entitled "I Love You" by Gordon Martinborough, which I have been reading lately, he tells about the three big secrets of a happy marriage.

First secret is loving yourself. What does it have to do with a happy marriage? If you do not love yourself, you make yourself unlovable! In other words, you make it difficult for others to love you. After all, whoever wants to marry Mr. or Miss Misery? And if you do not love yourself it is difficult for you to give love to somebody else for you cannot share what you do not have.

Second secret is the self sacrificing love. A kind of love that puts the desire of the other above and before the needs of one's self is the quality of love that constitutes the second secret of a successful marriage. While the first key to a successful marriage is to love oneself, the second secret is to love your partner better than yourself. If each partner will practice this principle, most marital problems will disappear.

The third secret , the most important ingredient of a successful marriage," Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind"(Luke 10:27). What does loving God have to do with a loving, happy marriage? The answer is simple but profound "God is love" (1 John 4:8).

A happy marriage may be likened to a triangle with Christ at the apex and husband and wife at the corners of the base. When the partners are far from Christ, they remain distant from each other. As each spouse moves toward Jesus, they get closer to one another. And when each connects with Christ, they become connected to each other. Love for God is the primary secret of a successful marriage.

In Love or Insane?

So you're head over heels in love, or at least you think you are. You have all the symptoms - you can't eat, can't sleep, and can't seem to think about anything other than your next encounter. But sometimes, that wonderful feeling can turn borderline weird, and if not kept in check, can quickly turn into full blown obsession. Can't tell the difference between the two just yet? Read upon these telltale signs to protect you from becoming that unlovable psycho-stalker guys steer clear of.

It's Love if - You get excited when you hear your phone ring, then slightly disappointed when you find out it's not him calling.

It's Obsession if - You have a separate line and number especially for him.

It's Love if - You have him on speed dial.

It's Obsession if - You call him in the middle of the night, then hang up when he answers. You just want to hear his voice.

It's Love if - You know what his favorite kind of candy is.

It's obsession if - You pick up his discarded wrapper and keep it in your wallet so you can have a piece of him wherever you go.

It's Love if - You have a song just for him.

It's Obsession if - You only have that one song on your ipod and it's on loop.

It's Love if - You already know all of his little quirks.

It's Obsession if - You try to imitate all of these little quirks and make them yours too.

It's Love if - You invite him over for dinner with your family.

It's Obsession if - He must come everyday, no excuses.

It's Love if - You have him as your phone wallpaper.

It's Obsession if - You have him as your room wallpaper.

It's love if - You text him out of the blue just to see how he's doing.

It's Obsession if - You text him out of the blue and ask what he's doing, who he's with, where he's going next, what time he'll be home, and again, who's he's with every ten minutes.

Romancing the Budget

We have always wanted to show to our loved ones that we love them right? Failure to express our love to them is somehow a "sin of omission". There are simple ways of showing our love to them. We don't need to mortgage our futures for jewelry, charter a jet to a secluded beach, or book a room in a posh hotel to live out that biblical command which is to love and respect our spouse. Here are simple activities that can keep the sizzle in romance and warmth in expressions of our love:

Outwit Hallmark. Give your spouse a homemade love card. Make it on the computer or cut out magazine pictures for the artwork. Extra points: Write an original poem. Unless you're an English teacher, don't worry about the meter and rhyme.

Note your affection. Dot the house with sticky notes expressing your appreciation of each other. Put them in odd places like in the baby's diaper stack ("I love you from the bottom of my heart"), by the toothpaste ("Thinking of you makes me smile"), or the sock drawer ("I'm glad you're my mate").

Send love for lunch. Decorate a spouse's lunch sack or write a sweet note on the paper napkin. Cut a heart out of the orange rind. Use a marking pen to apply your love message to a banana.

Come up with codes. One couple knows that "1-4-3," whether written or spoken, means "I Love You". (The numbers are the number of letters in each word.)

Make it a game. A husband came home to a love message spelled out on a Scrabble board on the living room floor. But be sure to pick it up before the kids awaken.

Leave love reminders. Let absence make the heart grow fonder. I know a wife who before leaving for a weekend conference created a "dummy" for their bed bu stuffing her silky black nightie with her husbands underwear and adding a note-"Can't wait to come home!" A husband leaves his wife notes to open each morning while he's away.

Dim the lights. Gather several small candles in a tray, light them, add some mugs of his/her favorite juice and lead your spouse to a special cuddle-and-talk- place.

Mark "monthiversaries". Grab the calendar and, each month, draw a big heart around the day of the month you were married. Celebrate simply, with a moonlight walk or romantic music on the stereo instead of TV news as dinner background.

Count up your love. Eight anniversary? Give your spouse something with 8 in it and something more original than 8 roses. She might just get excited over a note offering 8 hours away from the kids. He might appreciate 8 tokens for the automatic car wash.

Bag the nag. Do something your spouse has repeatedly asked you to do and you haven't done such as clean up the workbench or deep-clean you clothes closet. Make a big deal of this being your "love job" and be sure to do it cheerfully.

Dating..the rules have changed

Don't wear something sexy, you might get raped. Don't flirt, he might not ask you out again. Don't come on time, he might think you are cheap, easy to get. Dating rules. You've heard about them. You've followed not a few of them. But hey, its now the era of high technology and information overload. The rules have changed, so check these out before you go out on a date!

Dress up, Dress down.What you wear does not really determine whether you'd be a victim of date rape. Rape is rape. Someone who wants to force himself on you will do it. He will do it the moment he gets an oppurtunity to do it - whether you are in a nun's habit or two-piece bikini.

Know yourself, who you are, what you stand for. Then choose the best style of clothing that expresses you. that's your style. Stick to it. Be known and remembered for it. But this does not mean you should not follow what's in fashion. There's always a way you can twist what's trendy to suit your style. Dress it up or dress it down. You have a choice. Choose and be confident about your choice.

If you have confidence, it will show and it will make you attractive.

Collect, then select. Your grandma, your mom, and your dad told you this. Don't show you are to date. Don't come cheap.

The new rule is this-know as many guys as you can. Go out with different kinds of guys, even those who are not your type. Who knows, the one you think is such a lemon might turn out to be a diamond!

It's not about the guy. It's about you. You can end up with Mr. Right if you are Ms. Right in the first place. Oftentimes, you focus on the traits of men, forgetting about yours. Do you know good manners and right conduct? Do you mind your manners? Are you courteous? Are you kind? Do you swear a lot? Do you argue a lot? How's your sense of humor? Are you fun to be with? Yes it's all about you - whether you are a great date ora dull one. The new rule is realy an old, time-tested rule - BE LOVABLE!

Just the two of you

• Go stargazing
• Watch a romantic DVD while munching on home-made canapes and wine
• Create a backyard picnic for two
• Play a massage game in the comfort of your own candle-lit bedroom
• Cook your meal together. Feed him bits of food (and lovey-dovey-mushy messages while you're at it. You may end up forgetting about cooking. Just don't forget to turn off the oven, lol. )
• Play a love hunt.
• Surprise him with his favorite meal
• Write him a love poem and have it framed
• Read him some love poems (you may even end up laughing your socks off)