Biggest Mistakes Couples Make

According to Helene Rothschild, a family and marriage therapist, there are common mistakes that can undermine one's loving relationship.

The following mistaken beliefs and truths can assist you to create and maintain the loving union that you desire:

Mistake #1. All I have to do is love my partner and all will be perfect.

Truth - Love is not enough to maintain a relationship. You also need to like your partner, create win-win solutions to your problems, and have similar values, goals, and interests. It takes two happy people with high self - esteem and good communications skills t ocreate a healthy relationship.

Mistake # 2. My partner is responsible for my hurt feelings, anger, and frustrations.

Truth - You are totally responsible for all your feelings and actions. Way before you were in your loving relationship, you were influenced by your parents, siblings, teachers, etc. and you made decisions based on your experiences. These decisions cause you to perceive things in the present that may be not true.

For example, if your mother of father was not there for you, you probably decided that you were not good enough, unimportant, unworthy and unlovable. These negative decisions will likely be projected in your partner. therefore, if he /she does not call, your hurt maybe caused by the decision that you are unimportant. The truth is that you are important even if your partner does not call.

Mistake # 3. I am adult now, and my parents have no influence to me.

Truth - Without exception, every client realized that they unconsciously married someone like their mother or father to resolve issues with them.

Mistake #4. Once I am in a committed relationship, I can focus my work, sports, hobbies, etc.,

Truth - A successful relationship requires focus, time and energy. just like everything else that is important to you. If you are hired for a position and you don't work at doing a good job, you are likely to be fired. The same is true in a loving union. It is important not to take each other for granted, and to spend quality time together, read relationship books, take steps to improve your communication.

Mistake # 5. I can treat my partner anyway I choose and we will be together forever.

Truth - If you treat your partner as you would your bestfriend, he/she is more likely to want to stay in the relationship. Everyone likes and deserves appreciation, respect, kindness, attention, affection and compliments. Be as loving as you can, and it will come back to you and strengthen your loving bond.

Now that you have some insights for a healthy relationship, you have a better chance at succeeding. You deserve a fantastic relationship. Go for it!

Marital Benefits

There are advantages of being married. Here are some of its benefits:

• Between the ages 35 and 39, a married man is only half as likely to die as his divorced counterpart.
  


• Widowed and divorced people are more likely to consult their doctor, especially for mental disorders.
  


• Married people are more likely to survive heart disease and cancer than divorced people.
  
  
• Aged 25 to 44, a married man is only a third as likely to commit suicide as a single, divorced, or separated man.
  


• Unmarried people smoke and drink more than married ones. Single women are most likely of all to drink excessively.

So, go and get hitched :))

Top Ten Reasons Why Men Cheat

According to a survey, men are more likely to cheat than their female partner. Here's why...

1. They have many options. Men are born hunters and as long as they see "preys" they will not stop wanting more.

2.Cheating boosts their ego. Men love to be chased by women because they think it's a proof of their masculinity.

3. They think that you're growing apart. When boredom and predictability set in, he begins to wander and look for someone more exciting.

4. They argue with their partner a lot. Arguments can be tedious.

5. They have fallen out of love. The worst, and probably the most painful reason to accept.

6. Sex with their partner sucks. Although sex is not a foundation for a stable relationship, men sometimes look for physical intimacy to satisfy their libido and if they can't get it from you, he might look somewhere else.

7. They want to take revenge. Cheating begets cheating. If you cheated on him, he will most likely cheat on you too.

8.They want something new, different and exciting. Some men get tired of the same old plain girls so they may try someone different and "exotic".

9. They want to see if they can get away with it. Astute, calculating, and manipulative men who try to cheat just for the heck of it think that the woman does not know, would not hurt her.

10. Their partner allowed their cheating in the past. Men will always cheat on their partner every chance they get because they know that they could easily be forgiven. Once is enough. If you forgave him once, then you are naive. But if you forgave him twice, then you are stupid.

Honeymoon great SEXperience

Now, everyone - almost every newlywed woman and man will tell you that making love on honeymoon night is great. But guess what, not everyone is telling the entire story, the real, ah, score , no pun indeed! That's because newlyweds are expected to enjoy their honeymoon night and so that's what they say - sex was great on their first night together.

But later on, they will tell the truth - usually to their marriage counselor or pastor, or psychiatrist, or the judge when they are already seeking legal separation or divorce that sex right from the start was everything except great. In other words, sex from day one was a disappointment, nothing like, well, you see in the movies. So, are you up for disappointment or you'll really have that one big bang of a great sexperience?

Sex is great and you will have fun-as you should have fun making love with your guy on your wedding night if early on you already have sorted out or tackled together the great expectations each one of you have about sex, making love, and doing it throughout your married life together. These are some hypes you should be clear about...

Virginity. Even in this day of condoms and viagra, not a few men or women get to do the sex act only on their wedding night. Your guy might not even know how to find your vagina in the dark! Or you are the virgin and he goes on his way to the big bang.You're lying there, anxious whether you would bleed to death, or what if you didn't bleed and he'd scream "What? you are not a virgin?" and he'd run and file for divorce, or worse keep the marriage in tact but look for virgins some place else! Tackle the virginity issue head on, before even saying yes when he propose so both of you are clear on your expectations.

Oral sex. Oral sex is sooo good. Even your pastor will say it's okay that married couples do it for foreplay. No kidding. But still, some women won't do it because somebody told them it's a sin, or it's so dirty you'll end up with urinary tract infection which can be so painful and expensive to treat. Ask your ob-gyne. Only your trusted doctor can tell you what's good for your particular health condition. And not all few men will do oral sex. The reasons may be the same with the woman's like religious beliefs, health fears, or there are men who simply don't like the vagina scent. Again tackle the issue in your one-on-one, no-holds-barred discussion with your fiancee. If he won't do oral sex and you can't ever enjoy making love without oral foreplay or its the other way around - you won't ever ever do it. That could spell a hell in bed not only on your wedding night but the rest of you lovemaking nights till death or divorce do you part. And while you are at it, discuss other issues such as foreplay, sex positions, talking dirty, who is going to initiate sex, what's a turn on, what's a turn off, what's a no, what's a go.

Who is the boss? Of course when you're in love , your guy or you would not even look at or love someone else. But somewhere along the way some couples confess it happened on night one - you can fall out of love. You can avoid the tragedy or the divorce mess if early on you lay the groud rules about your relationship. State from day one of courtship that you won't tolerate a two-timing suitor or husband. And maintain your conviction. Exoress it always throughout your courtship, engagement and marriage.

Talk dirty, talk clean. Even in this day of sex and the city, couples don't sit down and talk about sex. That's because they simply don't hink sex is something you really talk about. They just know sex as they read it in sexy or porn mags, or what they see in movies. People just go on doing sex. You either feel good about it or it becomes just one sorry disappointment from one partner to another. Early on the relationship, schedule a one-on-one day talk with yor guy to discuss issues that could affect your relationship- money, career, in-laws, children and yes, sex. The date should be non-negotiable. In other words it's a top priority. If your guy won't talk, girl, you have a problem. A mature guy and serious about you will talk about sex and all its nitty-gritty and all other issues concerning your life together as husband and wife. Forewarned is forearmed.Read about sex, free love, true love. Read real researches and studies, not just the pocketboooks or trashy mags you see in newstands. Know what's true and what's good for you and your mate. That one-on one talk is a test whether your relationship is a go, whether you'll have that sexperience you dream about in your honeymoon and the rest of your married life.

Dating..the rules have changed

Don't wear something sexy, you might get raped. Don't flirt, he might not ask you out again. Don't come on time, he might think you are cheap, easy to get. Dating rules. You've heard about them. You've followed not a few of them. But hey, its now the era of high technology and information overload. The rules have changed, so check these out before you go out on a date!

Dress up, Dress down.What you wear does not really determine whether you'd be a victim of date rape. Rape is rape. Someone who wants to force himself on you will do it. He will do it the moment he gets an oppurtunity to do it - whether you are in a nun's habit or two-piece bikini.

Know yourself, who you are, what you stand for. Then choose the best style of clothing that expresses you. that's your style. Stick to it. Be known and remembered for it. But this does not mean you should not follow what's in fashion. There's always a way you can twist what's trendy to suit your style. Dress it up or dress it down. You have a choice. Choose and be confident about your choice.

If you have confidence, it will show and it will make you attractive.

Collect, then select. Your grandma, your mom, and your dad told you this. Don't show you are to date. Don't come cheap.

The new rule is this-know as many guys as you can. Go out with different kinds of guys, even those who are not your type. Who knows, the one you think is such a lemon might turn out to be a diamond!

It's not about the guy. It's about you. You can end up with Mr. Right if you are Ms. Right in the first place. Oftentimes, you focus on the traits of men, forgetting about yours. Do you know good manners and right conduct? Do you mind your manners? Are you courteous? Are you kind? Do you swear a lot? Do you argue a lot? How's your sense of humor? Are you fun to be with? Yes it's all about you - whether you are a great date ora dull one. The new rule is realy an old, time-tested rule - BE LOVABLE!