Building Healthy Relationship with your Mate

I have read an interesting article about how to build a healthy relationship with one's mate. Some of its contents are common and I'm sure you guys have read it already somewhere else but as it is said, we keep on repeating important things is our lives so I'm sharing them to you.

As we have known, relationships are like flowers that have to be taken cared of, nurtured and cultivated. If we want the flowers in our garden to bloom and not wither, we make a conscious effort to water them everyday, cultivate the soil around them. Same with our relationships, we should be willing to do a little work if we wanted to hold the promise of a more committed, loving and fulfilling relationship.

Here are intimacy-building resolutions to make the couple happy as discussed by top relationship experts.

Listen, with the TV off. Listening, truly listening can reduce conflict, boost trust, and lead to a more satisfying partnership. Listening may sound simple, but it requires more than being in the same room while your better half is speaking. Signal that you care by turning off the television , offering your undivided attention and making eye contact t. And don't forget to follow-up on what you hear.

Focus on relationship positives. When you first meet someone, you pay attention to all the things you like. As time goes on, you start to take that for granted and instead you focus on what bothers you. If the relationship becomes more negative than positive, you break up. The solution is to make a conscious effort to focus on the things you like your partner. Your partner has many good qualities, as well as things that drive you crazy.

Stop nagging. Nagging not only creates tension , it usually gets you nowhere. If you're nagging, your partner will tune you out. If someone is not giving you what you want, think about what you are doing. It's not working, what ca you do instead? Have a dialogue. Instead of saying what you don't like, say what you would prefer. Give alternatives. Remember to balance any criticisms with a heavy dose of positive feedback.

Spend more time together. You've probably heard it before - make dates and keep them. Putting couple time on your calendar reinforces your sense of dedication to each other. Make this special times private by not including others.

Touch more often. Physical communication is as important as emotional communication in a relationship. It relieves tension and shows your partner that you care. Physically being in contact with your partner breaks through a lot of ice. Go out of your way to kiss and hug during the day. Always sleep together in same bed. Just assume you're going to have sex every night, if only possible. It's hard to fight when you're having great sex.

Love like Jesus loved us

Why should we love like Jesus? Because God is love. Let us then use God's love for us as a standard for loving others. God's love is an agape kind of love which is translated as charity. The meaning of charity nowadays is simplified to just mean giving something or doing something for the less fortunate. But if charity is the best word to describe agape, the love of God, then it must have a deeper meaning.

But how about how we love? As Christians, we are told to love one another, to love like Jesus loved us. Is this an impossible thing to do? Without God, it would be impossible. Without God, our love will remain based on feelings or selfish motives. God's love is not because He feels like it but because He does love us.

Is your love based on feelings, which are momentary and can just come and go? This is like falling in love as if you were catching a disease, and just as easily falling out of love as if you had a big accident. This kind of love is what many couples start with. But if they just remain in this kind of romantic love, then it will not survive because feelings change and problems arise. Unless a conscious commitment, a deliberate choice is made to love completely, then the love is only a temporary fantasy.

This is why true love can only be complete in Holy Matrimony. Like Christ being wed to His bride, the church, the exchange of persons, of relationships is where love can truly exist. While our concept of love is constantly distorted by movies, love songs, books, and television, sins like fornication and adultery continue to wreck lives and families. Let's not learn love from wrong perverted sources. Let's look God, how He loves us, and love the same way.

How to know if he's not a right guy for you

Does your instinct tells you that who you are dating is Mr. Wrong? Here are some telltale signs that the guy you're dating is more of a dud than a stud.

• He is selfish. If the word compromise is alien to your man's consciousness, chances are he's only thinking of himself. Healthy men know how to make compromises.


• He has no drive. Does your guy spend more time on parties with his buddies or watching TV than anything else?If he's busy doing things that don't take his life to new places then he might be a dud.


• He doesn't appreciate you. The guy you're dating should not only appreciate you but also respect you, your friends and family.


• He doesn't show emotion. To be in a healthy relationship, both parties need to be open and honest about their vulnerabilities and not be afraid to show their emotions. If you find that you're giving more emotionally to the relationship than he is, it might be time to move on.


• He doesn't have a good relationship with his mother. If a guy's relationship with his mother is constantly strained, it's not a good sign for your relationship. He does not have to be a mama's boy but a guy at any age must have a loving and healthy relationship with his mother.


• He makes you feel bad about yourself. Why would you want to be around with someone who doesn't make you feel happy, successful and fulfilled?If he doesn't listen to you and constantly puts you down , it's a sign of trouble.


• He's being untrustworthy. If you are unable to trust your partner, you will spend countless time and energy wondering about his capacity to be honest and straightforward about your relationship.

My Birthday!

Today is my birthday. I really feel blessed and there are a lot of things to be thankful for- my family, my friends. I'm having this mclinky links for those visitors from today (my birthday) until September 25, 2009. So, get listed my dear friends.