Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone. Stay blissful, blessed and in love forever!

Facts about Woman / Wife

I have read a lot of articles about women. When I was in high school, a classmate wrote an article titled "Women are hard to s-p-e-l-l" and there he wrote his rants regarding women.

When I was a fresh graduate in college, me and my friends would look for ways to vent our boredom and so we would always look a place to go to gimmicks and hang outs. Sometimes, we girls don't like pushing trough our gimmick plans and our guy friends would tell us "You are indeed women" referring to our very changeable minds not sticking to our plans.

A lot of marriages are destroyed today because of the lack of awareness about the basic differences between man and woman and the lack of ability to deal with these differences as they live together in marriage. Here are some facts about woman that a husband should know to better understand his wife...

A wife cherishes her Husband's Expression of Appreciation. Since appreciation enhances one's self-worth, the husband should serve it lavishly. Unfortunately, some men ignore it while others forget it. Just a simple "thanks honey for the delicious meal" will do. Every wife needs expressions of appreciation for what she does and for what she is. She cherishes these "everyday" expressions. In addition to this, the husband should always remember those occasions that afford special opportunities for such reassurance such as birthdays, anniversaries, and other significant dates.

She likes to have a "house-husband". Every housewife needs help. Heavy laundry, dirty dishes, screaming children, day after day cause frustration and boredom. A sensitive husband will take over the household chores periodically, giving the wife her day's vacation. This thoughtful activity sends his wife the signal: I love, I care.

In the olden times, the husband is the sole breadwinner and the wife stays at home taking care the children and doing the household chores. At present time, both the husband and wife are earners to meet the demands of the skyrocketing cost of living. Is it not just fitting that both husband and wife also share the responsibilities inside the house? In addition to a woman's career, she is also a housewife. So in addition to the husband's job, he should also be a "house-husband".

A woman changes moods and feelings. In the morning, she may be smiling, but by midday she may be crying. Why does she experience such mood swings? The bloodstream of a woman carries 20% fewer red blood cells than that of a man. Since red cells are the conveyors of oxygen to all parts of the body, less oxygen capacity tends to impact on a woman's coping mechanism and influence her moods and feelings. Aside from that, the woman experiences premenstrual tensions. The monthly cycle of the female reproductive system produces biological changes. These also impact her body chemistry influencing her emotions and behavior. A wise husband would be understanding and see these changes as opportunities to show to his wife his love and care.

She is a survivor. A woman may be weaker in some aspects, but she is stronger in others. Usually, she has a sharper hearing, brighter night vision, a keener sense of smell and a stronger immune system.Her female hormones are give her greater resistance to heart disease during her childbearing years. In addition, the woman's corpus collosum, which is the connector of the left and right halves of the brain tends to be stronger. This means that in the event of stroke, there is quicker transfer of brain functions from one hemisphere to the other, which in turn facilitates a speeder recovery. On the average, the woman outlives the man by eight years!

She is intuitive. It is well established that left and right hemispheres of the brain have different field function and varied modes of operation. While the left brain processes data lineally, using parts to form a whole, the right brain processes information globally, seeing the whole before recognizing its parts. The left hemisphere solves the problem logically and sequentially while the right solves the problem experimentally. So, while the left lobe uses analysis, the right uses synthesis.

Generally, women are more right- brained than men. consequently, they are more intuitive. This power of intuition enables the wife to arrive at a conclusion spontaneously. When asked what's the reason of her decision, she would simply say "something tells me so". A wise husband will give respect to his wife's ideas despite her lack of data sheets.

A woman is stimulated by feelings of love. Unlike a man, a woman is not stimulated by what she sees , but by what she feels. In order for her to respond effectively, she must feel loved. For her,sex is not only physical but a very emotional experience.

She enjoys varied expressions of love. These expressions may be put into 3 categories. one, the casual like holding hands, two, the intimate such as embrace, three, the ultimate or sexual expression. The man is an excellent mathematician. He moves with rapidity from number 1 toi number 3. Whenever he gets intimate, he is willing to proceed to the ultimate.

Most women are poor mathematicians. They do not always want to count. Sometimes a wife starts but stops at number 1. She is satisfied with the casual expression of love. Other times, she proceeds to number 2 but stops. She is finding fulfillment in the intimate expression of love but desires not to go further. And in other times, she counts on to number 3. She desires sexual expression. Unlike man, at different times, a woman enjoys different expressions of love. Every husband should learn and understand to cope this basic differences. He should understand that his priority is not to please himself.

She needs new eggs in the empty nest. At each stage of a woman's life, she faces new challenges. When the children are grown and gone, the post-menopausal woman faces her "empty nest" with a feeling of emptiness. The objects of her devotion for several years have disappeared and so she desires new eggs in the nest. She doesn't needs new children but a new projects or actvities to enhance fulfillment. She now says no to procreation but yes to procreativity.

The wife needs to hear the Precious words "I love you". Before marriage, those words were uttered often, but after marriage they are seldom spoken. The husband needs to say them over and over again. This affirmation of love is like oil to the engine. It must be changed often but it must be present always.

Why do Brides Carry flowers?

Since Ancient times, people in many parts of the world have given flowers an aura of magic, attributing to them the ability to influence many events and particularly future happiness.

Flowers have always been associated with romance. In Ancient Egypt, a gift of flowers was seen as one of good luck, a joyful sign of affection. In the East, flowers were thought to influence whether a young man would marry happily or not at all. Daisy-like flowers that's called bachelors button get the name from Europe. Young men in love picked a flower with a dew still on it. If it remained bright and fresh after 24 hours in their pockets, the omen was for wedded bliss. Often, a man who found a shriveled bloom remained a bachelor rather than risk having a life of misery.

Among Ancient peoples, flowers symbolized sex and fertility, and became a natural part of the marriage ritual. Today, brides carry a floral bouquet in the hope of ensuring marital happiness. Usually, the bouquet contains roses, signs of love and of luck. Ribbons tying the bouquet also are symbolic, said to bring good wishes from the bride's friends.

Love for the Ages

When it comes to romance, the tried-and-true still holds sway over the new. About three quarters of both men and women think that the traditional romantic gestures like picking a bouquet of wildflowers or exchanging chocolate are as sweet as ever according to Harlequin romance report. And when asked to name a romantic act, the number one pick for both sexes was taking walks together. Kissing and candlelit dinners also made it to both men and women's top four. So take heart if your love style is more rose petals than juicy Instant Messages. Clearly, some oldies but goodies never go out of fashion.

Love is good for Heart and Health

I have read an interesting article linking love to good heart and health and I'm sharing it to you. Based on the US National Longitudinal Study which have been tracking more than a million subjects since 1979 shows that married people live longer, have fewer heart attacks and lower cancer rates than single people.

In a University of Carolina study conducted in 2005 found that hugging may dramatically lower blood pressure and boost blood levels of oxytocin, a relaxing hormone that plays a key role in labor, breastfeeding and orgasms. Women with the highest oxytocin levels had systolic blood pressure that was 10 mm Hg lower than those with low oxytocin levels, an improvement similar to the effect of many leading blood pressure medications. While the blood pressure lowering effect was not seen in men, researchers believed that guys would derive the same health benefits from the steady sex precipitated by regular snuggling which leads to the result of the study in Bristol, England that men who had sex two or more times a week cut their risk of having a fatal heart attack in half. A National Cancer Institute study found that men who ejaculate frequently may be protecting themselves against a prostate cancer.

With these findings in research, the message is simple. Love and be loved. It surely is good for your heart! Love in many splendid forms - caring, friendship, romance, sex - makes and keeps human being happy. People in strong, healthy relationships with family and friends and lovers prove this beyond doubt. However, there is scientific evidence showing that love can also fight disease, boost immunity and lower stress.

A 13-year study by researchers from San Diego State University and University of Pittsburgh found that middle-aged women in good marriages were less likely to develop risk factors that lead to cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women or those in unsatisfying marriages. Results in the research indicated that women in satisfying marriages had lower blood pressure, cholesterol levels, body mass index, depression, anxiety and anger than women in poor marriages and those who were unmarried (single, widowed or divorced).

Previous research indicates that marriage itself may offer a health advantage by providing social support and protecting against the risks associated with social isolation. Also, spousal influence and involvement may encourage health-promoting behavior. Married people, especially women, may also enjoy a health advantage over their unmarried counterparts through the increased availability of socioeconomic resources.

On the other hand, marital stress is associated with lifestyle risk factors and non-adherence to medical regimens. An unhealthy marriage is also linked to more depression, hostility and anger - all risk factors for heart disease. Thus, marital status and quality could influence metabolic risk factors and acute stress responses, which in turn predict a person's risk of developing or dying from cardiovascular disease.

Tuesday Quotable Toots

Where your pleasure is, there is your treasure:

where your treasure, there your heart;

where your heart, there your happiness.

-Augustine

Building Healthy Relationship with your Mate

I have read an interesting article about how to build a healthy relationship with one's mate. Some of its contents are common and I'm sure you guys have read it already somewhere else but as it is said, we keep on repeating important things is our lives so I'm sharing them to you.

As we have known, relationships are like flowers that have to be taken cared of, nurtured and cultivated. If we want the flowers in our garden to bloom and not wither, we make a conscious effort to water them everyday, cultivate the soil around them. Same with our relationships, we should be willing to do a little work if we wanted to hold the promise of a more committed, loving and fulfilling relationship.

Here are intimacy-building resolutions to make the couple happy as discussed by top relationship experts.

Listen, with the TV off. Listening, truly listening can reduce conflict, boost trust, and lead to a more satisfying partnership. Listening may sound simple, but it requires more than being in the same room while your better half is speaking. Signal that you care by turning off the television , offering your undivided attention and making eye contact t. And don't forget to follow-up on what you hear.

Focus on relationship positives. When you first meet someone, you pay attention to all the things you like. As time goes on, you start to take that for granted and instead you focus on what bothers you. If the relationship becomes more negative than positive, you break up. The solution is to make a conscious effort to focus on the things you like your partner. Your partner has many good qualities, as well as things that drive you crazy.

Stop nagging. Nagging not only creates tension , it usually gets you nowhere. If you're nagging, your partner will tune you out. If someone is not giving you what you want, think about what you are doing. It's not working, what ca you do instead? Have a dialogue. Instead of saying what you don't like, say what you would prefer. Give alternatives. Remember to balance any criticisms with a heavy dose of positive feedback.

Spend more time together. You've probably heard it before - make dates and keep them. Putting couple time on your calendar reinforces your sense of dedication to each other. Make this special times private by not including others.

Touch more often. Physical communication is as important as emotional communication in a relationship. It relieves tension and shows your partner that you care. Physically being in contact with your partner breaks through a lot of ice. Go out of your way to kiss and hug during the day. Always sleep together in same bed. Just assume you're going to have sex every night, if only possible. It's hard to fight when you're having great sex.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all Moms out there!

Men are Polygamous by Nature?

Ms. W and me are very close to each other. We bond together all the time and we are inseparable. We may have different perspectives in life but we love each other and we empathize each other in turbulent times of our lives and we lift up each other's spirit.

She was madly in love for the first time when we both were in second year college. No matter how much advice I have given her, she followed the dictates of her heart and later on got pregnant to a fellow student who like her, was not stable yet. Her parents' world crumbled when they learned about it. She's intelligent and her parents had so much trust and hope on her. In spite of what happened, her parents remained very open minded. They had a church wedding. Her parents supported her so she continued her schooling until she finally graduated in college and landed a job for herself.

Her husband on the other hand did not finish his studies due to financial constraints. She became the breadwinner of the family. In spite of the odds that they have been through, their family remained strong. They are a picture of one happy family. Until one day, she found out that her husband had an affair with another woman. The girl would send text messages or call her husband. At first her husband denied it but later on, admitted the affair and finally leave her and their daughter and lived with his mistress.

This real-life story is not new to us. There are lot of these cases in the community...in our society...The latest that made to headlines is that of vice-presidentiable Binay on her extramarital affair with a young lady which is now spreading over the net.

I also have a not-so -good experience of a married man who got attracted to me. This happened when I was still a fresh grad in college. We worked in the same company and he would frequent to my office. I just ignored him until my close office mates noticed him and teased me. One day, out of the blue, he told me that he was attracted with me. I just shrugged it off for I know he's a married man and I'll never be a home wrecker. I told him that he's married and that he should focus his attention to his family. I was kinda shocked by his answer, "Men are polygamous by nature". There was a time that I was absent for several days and when I reported for work, he suddenly hugged me and told me that he terribly missed me. That's when I cried foul. I was at a loss and from that time on, I avoided him anymore and finally resigned.


Friends, is it true that men are polygamous by nature? With my personal experience and the situation that Ms. W. is now in, I can't help myself to think that maybe there's a grain of truth in the statement of my former office mate. But I also think that maybe not all men are the same and that maybe that statement does not apply to all because there are also countless men who are faithful, committed and remained true to their vow.

I look forward to your thoughts and opinions my dear readers and friends.

Tuesday Quotable Toots

The best preacher is heart;
The best teacher is time;
The best book is the world;
The best friend is God.

-Talmud

Time heals wounds

I have a friend who have been very close to me. We go to the same workplace together. Our house are just a few steps away. We were inseparable, some would say. We talked about anything and everything, from love life, careers, dreams, aspirations. We would confide with each other about the latest news that we know in the workplace, in our personal lives and of course we empathize and help each other in times when we have problems. We are similar in many ways but we are also very different in some aspects of our lives.

One day, we have a falling out. For some reasons, we feel like we are suffocated with our closeness. We became very distant with each other and we separate our ways. Our relationship has gone from sweet into sour, from good into worse. We reached a point that we don't talk with each other and we abhor each other's presence. I know there's something wrong with us -failed expectations, unbalanced and non-symbiotic relationship.

Three years past, we accidentally bumped with each other. I forget that we were not in "good terms" that I had a big smile for her when we saw each other face to face but she snobbed me and had that look as if saying "who are you"?. I just laughed myself off because I don't hold any grudge anymore and there's nothing to lose when you smile even when it's not reciprocated.

Another chance, we met and this time, she's the one who made a casual talk with me as if nothing happens. I just talked with her as well and I found out that she's not talking also to her close friend recently for a very superficial reason and a common friend would joke that she wants one enemy at a time. Nevertheless, I'm glad that we are back into speaking terms and even if we are not as close as we used to be but we are back to being friends again. I believe time heals wounds with the aid of divine intervention.

Easter Greetings

Hello my friends, visitors and readers. Happy Easter to everyone:)

Relational Dialectics and Love

Love is the most powerful feeling in the world.We talk about it, we learn some things from it, we read a lot about it.

Ditch from reading those self-help books and magazines and say hello to this interpersonal communication theory called Relational Dialectics. It's a dialectical perspectives on communication strategies in relationship development. This theory suggests that between a communicating relationship, the persons involved will experience " internal, conflicting pulls". This causes their relationship to be in constant state of unrest called dialectical tension.

There are three dialectical tensions. Here they are, along with some tips on how to handle them.

Connectedness and Separateness - It's normal for individuals to spend time together when in a relationship. However, when each of them don't get enough time and space to spend alone, they lose their individual identities because of too much connection.

It's sickening to be in a company of the same person 24/7. The key to handling this kind of dialectic tension is to give each other space. Every human being needs some time alone.

Certainty and Uncertainty. Persons involved in a relationship acknowledge predictability and a sense of assurance to each other. But too much of this makes a relationship boring. Monotony sucks.

A little mystery and spontaniety is what keeps a relationship going. Keep this in mind - you can never get to know your partner to the bone. To constantly discover something exciting about your partner is a sign of a good relationship.

Openness and Closedness - In a relationship, partners sometimes tend to feel compelled to be transparent and reveal everything! This results to an individual's contrasting desire to seek privacy.

Seriously, do you always have to tell your partner what you had for lunch? Do you always have to show him/her your email or phone's inbox? Do you always have to know who your partner is with? Always consider privacy. Acknowledge that the closer you and your partner become to one another, the more conflict will arise to pull you apart. A relationship will constantly experience dialectical tensions. Skillfully handling these tensions will help you have a superb relationship.

Tuesday Quotable Toots

Treasure the love you receive above all.

It will survive long after your good health has vanished

-Og Mandino

Single and blessed

A lot of single people are happy and contented with their lives, being single. But there are those who also long to be with someone for the rest of their lives. Single people should pray constantly to God to let them find the one He prepared for them. And while waiting, preserve your purity and human dignity. Remember, you wouldn't want to be used by someone who will be married to someone else in the future, or you wouldn't want your future spouse to be someone who has already been used by others.

Begin possible relationships with the right intentions. It is not to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend for people are not possessions. It is not to have an experience because people are not events. It is not to have someone to enjoy with because people are not toys. It is not to taste it or try it out, because people are not chewing gums you spit out later when it losses its sweetness or a shoes you can throw out when they become worn out.

It is to have a committed, loving relationship. It is to be married t each other someday. If that has no possibility or not even desired at the very beginning, then there should be nothing to begin at all.

Tuesday Quotable Toots (3)

Love is something eternal

the aspect may change,

but not the essence.

-Vincent Van Gogh

Tuesday Quotable Toots (3)

I have found the paradox that If I love until it hurts,

then there is no hurt but more love.

-Mother Teresa

Precious Moments to Last a Lifetime

A single photo can capture a very special moment in our lives. Since we are now in the age of technology, with all the gadgets we have, ranging from digital camera and video cam, we can have all these precious memories capture either in photo or video. But here's the tricky part, where should you store it so this would not be wasted with things such as viruses on your computer, a crush on your hard drive. Even a hard copy of your photo can deteriorate in time.

Enter the My Heart Will, a great website that can solve your problems. You can store family biography or personal biography. You can even store photo from your facebook personal page. It's a nice site where you can even put description of you photos for your relatives, families, and friends to see or even add an audio to explain what happened during the taking of that photo.

Love like Jesus loved us

Why should we love like Jesus? Because God is love. Let us then use God's love for us as a standard for loving others. God's love is an agape kind of love which is translated as charity. The meaning of charity nowadays is simplified to just mean giving something or doing something for the less fortunate. But if charity is the best word to describe agape, the love of God, then it must have a deeper meaning.

But how about how we love? As Christians, we are told to love one another, to love like Jesus loved us. Is this an impossible thing to do? Without God, it would be impossible. Without God, our love will remain based on feelings or selfish motives. God's love is not because He feels like it but because He does love us.

Is your love based on feelings, which are momentary and can just come and go? This is like falling in love as if you were catching a disease, and just as easily falling out of love as if you had a big accident. This kind of love is what many couples start with. But if they just remain in this kind of romantic love, then it will not survive because feelings change and problems arise. Unless a conscious commitment, a deliberate choice is made to love completely, then the love is only a temporary fantasy.

This is why true love can only be complete in Holy Matrimony. Like Christ being wed to His bride, the church, the exchange of persons, of relationships is where love can truly exist. While our concept of love is constantly distorted by movies, love songs, books, and television, sins like fornication and adultery continue to wreck lives and families. Let's not learn love from wrong perverted sources. Let's look God, how He loves us, and love the same way.

Life's lessons

• Learn that you cannot make anyone love you but you can make yourself be loved and lovable.
• It's not good to compare yourself to others.
• Learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.
• Two people can look at the same thing but see it differently.
• A rich person is not the one who has the most, but simply the one who need the least.