Building Healthy Relationship with your Mate

I have read an interesting article about how to build a healthy relationship with one's mate. Some of its contents are common and I'm sure you guys have read it already somewhere else but as it is said, we keep on repeating important things is our lives so I'm sharing them to you.

As we have known, relationships are like flowers that have to be taken cared of, nurtured and cultivated. If we want the flowers in our garden to bloom and not wither, we make a conscious effort to water them everyday, cultivate the soil around them. Same with our relationships, we should be willing to do a little work if we wanted to hold the promise of a more committed, loving and fulfilling relationship.

Here are intimacy-building resolutions to make the couple happy as discussed by top relationship experts.

Listen, with the TV off. Listening, truly listening can reduce conflict, boost trust, and lead to a more satisfying partnership. Listening may sound simple, but it requires more than being in the same room while your better half is speaking. Signal that you care by turning off the television , offering your undivided attention and making eye contact t. And don't forget to follow-up on what you hear.

Focus on relationship positives. When you first meet someone, you pay attention to all the things you like. As time goes on, you start to take that for granted and instead you focus on what bothers you. If the relationship becomes more negative than positive, you break up. The solution is to make a conscious effort to focus on the things you like your partner. Your partner has many good qualities, as well as things that drive you crazy.

Stop nagging. Nagging not only creates tension , it usually gets you nowhere. If you're nagging, your partner will tune you out. If someone is not giving you what you want, think about what you are doing. It's not working, what ca you do instead? Have a dialogue. Instead of saying what you don't like, say what you would prefer. Give alternatives. Remember to balance any criticisms with a heavy dose of positive feedback.

Spend more time together. You've probably heard it before - make dates and keep them. Putting couple time on your calendar reinforces your sense of dedication to each other. Make this special times private by not including others.

Touch more often. Physical communication is as important as emotional communication in a relationship. It relieves tension and shows your partner that you care. Physically being in contact with your partner breaks through a lot of ice. Go out of your way to kiss and hug during the day. Always sleep together in same bed. Just assume you're going to have sex every night, if only possible. It's hard to fight when you're having great sex.

Signs of infedility

Infidelity or unfaithfulness is one of the reasons why couples break up. One partner is tempted and plays with fire. One thing leads to another, and a stable relationship is ruined!

Even if you don't see with your eyes that your partner is cheating on you, there are changes in his behavior that logically merit suspicion and may scream fidelity.

• He becomes secretive. If your significant other doesn't ask permission when going out, doesn't inform you of his whereabouts, hides his mobile phone, doesn't answer his mobile phone around you, behaves in an eerie manner when talking to someone on the phone, and suddenly becomes reticent about what's happening in his life, then he be definitely hiding something from you.
  

• He suddenly changes his routine. Does he constantly leave too early in the morning or come home in the wee hours of the morning? Have you noticed him going to the gym more often? Although changes in routine is inevitable in a person's life, but you should know how to distinguish from the truth and the lie.
  

• His personality has changed. If your partner shows changes in his personality or behavior like sudden mood swings, or becoming nonchalant, apathetic even if he is not inflicted with bipolar disorder, there may be a reason he is acting strange. Another way to tell if your significant other is cheating is when he criticizes you more. He finds faults with your behavior to justify his cheating. This way, he can reason that you push him away from you. The exact opposite is being extremely nice, generous, and amorous because he wants to make up of his transgressions.

• He lacks intimacy. Having intimacy is not tantamount to having sex. You can show your emotional and physical intimacy to a person by touching, cuddling, holding hands, kissing or just talking lovingly and wholeheartedly. His lack of affection towards you may be a sign he might be seeing someone else.

• He cheated on his ex-girlfriends. Find time to talk to his old girlfriends discreetly. It may save you a lot of heartaches. If he has the audacity to cheat on his past girlfriends, then, there's a bigger chance for him to do it again. As one psychologist put it, " A person's past behavior will almost always determine his future behavior".

• He keeps buying things. Does he purchase expensive and unnecessary items for unknown people? Are his telephone bills higher than usual? Is he visiting unfamiliar places without you?
  

There are really lots of lukewarm relationships out there and statistics continue to go up. If you want not to be a part of that statistics, give time to nurture your relationship. As one writer said "unlike planes, relationships cannot be maintained on auto-pilot".

Preventing Infedility in Marriage

Life is full of twists and turns. Sometimes we are shocked to hear news of couples whose strong marriage once we admired but broken into pieces. Here are some preventive steps to guard one's fidelity and help your marriage remain intact.

Talk openly about anything and everything. Don't belittle the importance of small talk. You gain nothing by keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself.

Cultivate your friendship. Go places with each other. Talk about your interests or current events in your lives. Do things together. Do not allow yourself to take your partner's friendship and feelings for granted.

Be supportive. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. A person's lifetime is an expensive period of time. Things change and so are people's interests. Your partner will at some point want to try something new, such as career, spiritual or life habit change. These are critical moments in your relationship.

Keep your passion alive and well. No one wants to feel undesired. Take a moment now and then to leave little notes around the house. Let your children see you kiss and cuddle. Indulge in an impromptu escapade.

Don't be predictable.The spark of interest can fade when you feel you know your partner to the point of predictability. Always allow for a little mystery.Occasionally do something that is a bit out of the norm.

Biggest Mistakes Couples Make

According to Helene Rothschild, a family and marriage therapist, there are common mistakes that can undermine one's loving relationship.

The following mistaken beliefs and truths can assist you to create and maintain the loving union that you desire:

Mistake #1. All I have to do is love my partner and all will be perfect.

Truth - Love is not enough to maintain a relationship. You also need to like your partner, create win-win solutions to your problems, and have similar values, goals, and interests. It takes two happy people with high self - esteem and good communications skills t ocreate a healthy relationship.

Mistake # 2. My partner is responsible for my hurt feelings, anger, and frustrations.

Truth - You are totally responsible for all your feelings and actions. Way before you were in your loving relationship, you were influenced by your parents, siblings, teachers, etc. and you made decisions based on your experiences. These decisions cause you to perceive things in the present that may be not true.

For example, if your mother of father was not there for you, you probably decided that you were not good enough, unimportant, unworthy and unlovable. These negative decisions will likely be projected in your partner. therefore, if he /she does not call, your hurt maybe caused by the decision that you are unimportant. The truth is that you are important even if your partner does not call.

Mistake # 3. I am adult now, and my parents have no influence to me.

Truth - Without exception, every client realized that they unconsciously married someone like their mother or father to resolve issues with them.

Mistake #4. Once I am in a committed relationship, I can focus my work, sports, hobbies, etc.,

Truth - A successful relationship requires focus, time and energy. just like everything else that is important to you. If you are hired for a position and you don't work at doing a good job, you are likely to be fired. The same is true in a loving union. It is important not to take each other for granted, and to spend quality time together, read relationship books, take steps to improve your communication.

Mistake # 5. I can treat my partner anyway I choose and we will be together forever.

Truth - If you treat your partner as you would your bestfriend, he/she is more likely to want to stay in the relationship. Everyone likes and deserves appreciation, respect, kindness, attention, affection and compliments. Be as loving as you can, and it will come back to you and strengthen your loving bond.

Now that you have some insights for a healthy relationship, you have a better chance at succeeding. You deserve a fantastic relationship. Go for it!