Building Healthy Relationship with your Mate

I have read an interesting article about how to build a healthy relationship with one's mate. Some of its contents are common and I'm sure you guys have read it already somewhere else but as it is said, we keep on repeating important things is our lives so I'm sharing them to you.

As we have known, relationships are like flowers that have to be taken cared of, nurtured and cultivated. If we want the flowers in our garden to bloom and not wither, we make a conscious effort to water them everyday, cultivate the soil around them. Same with our relationships, we should be willing to do a little work if we wanted to hold the promise of a more committed, loving and fulfilling relationship.

Here are intimacy-building resolutions to make the couple happy as discussed by top relationship experts.

Listen, with the TV off. Listening, truly listening can reduce conflict, boost trust, and lead to a more satisfying partnership. Listening may sound simple, but it requires more than being in the same room while your better half is speaking. Signal that you care by turning off the television , offering your undivided attention and making eye contact t. And don't forget to follow-up on what you hear.

Focus on relationship positives. When you first meet someone, you pay attention to all the things you like. As time goes on, you start to take that for granted and instead you focus on what bothers you. If the relationship becomes more negative than positive, you break up. The solution is to make a conscious effort to focus on the things you like your partner. Your partner has many good qualities, as well as things that drive you crazy.

Stop nagging. Nagging not only creates tension , it usually gets you nowhere. If you're nagging, your partner will tune you out. If someone is not giving you what you want, think about what you are doing. It's not working, what ca you do instead? Have a dialogue. Instead of saying what you don't like, say what you would prefer. Give alternatives. Remember to balance any criticisms with a heavy dose of positive feedback.

Spend more time together. You've probably heard it before - make dates and keep them. Putting couple time on your calendar reinforces your sense of dedication to each other. Make this special times private by not including others.

Touch more often. Physical communication is as important as emotional communication in a relationship. It relieves tension and shows your partner that you care. Physically being in contact with your partner breaks through a lot of ice. Go out of your way to kiss and hug during the day. Always sleep together in same bed. Just assume you're going to have sex every night, if only possible. It's hard to fight when you're having great sex.

Time heals wounds

I have a friend who have been very close to me. We go to the same workplace together. Our house are just a few steps away. We were inseparable, some would say. We talked about anything and everything, from love life, careers, dreams, aspirations. We would confide with each other about the latest news that we know in the workplace, in our personal lives and of course we empathize and help each other in times when we have problems. We are similar in many ways but we are also very different in some aspects of our lives.

One day, we have a falling out. For some reasons, we feel like we are suffocated with our closeness. We became very distant with each other and we separate our ways. Our relationship has gone from sweet into sour, from good into worse. We reached a point that we don't talk with each other and we abhor each other's presence. I know there's something wrong with us -failed expectations, unbalanced and non-symbiotic relationship.

Three years past, we accidentally bumped with each other. I forget that we were not in "good terms" that I had a big smile for her when we saw each other face to face but she snobbed me and had that look as if saying "who are you"?. I just laughed myself off because I don't hold any grudge anymore and there's nothing to lose when you smile even when it's not reciprocated.

Another chance, we met and this time, she's the one who made a casual talk with me as if nothing happens. I just talked with her as well and I found out that she's not talking also to her close friend recently for a very superficial reason and a common friend would joke that she wants one enemy at a time. Nevertheless, I'm glad that we are back into speaking terms and even if we are not as close as we used to be but we are back to being friends again. I believe time heals wounds with the aid of divine intervention.

Single and blessed

A lot of single people are happy and contented with their lives, being single. But there are those who also long to be with someone for the rest of their lives. Single people should pray constantly to God to let them find the one He prepared for them. And while waiting, preserve your purity and human dignity. Remember, you wouldn't want to be used by someone who will be married to someone else in the future, or you wouldn't want your future spouse to be someone who has already been used by others.

Begin possible relationships with the right intentions. It is not to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend for people are not possessions. It is not to have an experience because people are not events. It is not to have someone to enjoy with because people are not toys. It is not to taste it or try it out, because people are not chewing gums you spit out later when it losses its sweetness or a shoes you can throw out when they become worn out.

It is to have a committed, loving relationship. It is to be married t each other someday. If that has no possibility or not even desired at the very beginning, then there should be nothing to begin at all.

How to know if he's not a right guy for you

Does your instinct tells you that who you are dating is Mr. Wrong? Here are some telltale signs that the guy you're dating is more of a dud than a stud.

• He is selfish. If the word compromise is alien to your man's consciousness, chances are he's only thinking of himself. Healthy men know how to make compromises.


• He has no drive. Does your guy spend more time on parties with his buddies or watching TV than anything else?If he's busy doing things that don't take his life to new places then he might be a dud.


• He doesn't appreciate you. The guy you're dating should not only appreciate you but also respect you, your friends and family.


• He doesn't show emotion. To be in a healthy relationship, both parties need to be open and honest about their vulnerabilities and not be afraid to show their emotions. If you find that you're giving more emotionally to the relationship than he is, it might be time to move on.


• He doesn't have a good relationship with his mother. If a guy's relationship with his mother is constantly strained, it's not a good sign for your relationship. He does not have to be a mama's boy but a guy at any age must have a loving and healthy relationship with his mother.


• He makes you feel bad about yourself. Why would you want to be around with someone who doesn't make you feel happy, successful and fulfilled?If he doesn't listen to you and constantly puts you down , it's a sign of trouble.


• He's being untrustworthy. If you are unable to trust your partner, you will spend countless time and energy wondering about his capacity to be honest and straightforward about your relationship.

Rekindle that "Just-Met-Sex" with your Partner

Long term love has all its advantages – a strong intimacy with each other, a shared history with the one you love, a warm and satisfying sexual connection. But still, sometimes you miss that erotic charge when your love was still brand new. Here are tips on how to recapture again that spark when you and your partner just started having sex.

1. Create a little distance. Best friends, partners, soul mates – that’s what many couples strive to be. But while that kind of relationship provides warmth and security, it’s not always sexy. The very things that love thrives on like familiarity, stability and security are the very things that can also kill the passion and lust in a relationship. For desire to thrive on, you need to maintain some of the elusiveness and independence you had when you were first together. If you’re too available to your partner, too open with each other, you lose that edge. That’s why for the sake of your sex life, it’s a good idea to make some space. A little bit of distance and separation, both physical and emotional, can actually fuel sexual excitement because it sets up a “thrill of a chase” kind of dynamic, similar to what you had when you were first dating.

2. Rediscover each other. What makes just – met sex so exciting is the sense of the unknown and the anticipation of what might happen. You’re still discovering each other’s bodies, finding new ways to turn each other on and testing new waters. A classic way to reboot your sexual relationship is to go away together, for a week, few days, or even just a night. Call it a sex vacation. It’s an opportunity to go back to the beginning when you didn’t have babies, shared bills, or a mortgage, and your relationship was just about the two of you having fun.

3. Shock your system – The perma-smile plastered on your face, that tingling below the belt, the goose bumps you got when he touched you. Thank you hormones. The novelty and excitement of a new sexual partner triggers the production of dopamine and norepinephrine, neurotransmitters that are responsible for that love high.

4. Tune in to your sexy side. When you’re dating, your appearance and sexual confidence are often a priority But once you’re married and have other things going on in your life, you don’t always put as much focus to your sexuality. Think back when you felt sexiest in your life. When you let your inner sexiness shine, he can’t help but respond to that energy.