Sunday, July 19, 2009

Romancing the Budget

We have always wanted to show to our loved ones that we love them right? Failure to express our love to them is somehow a "sin of omission". There are simple ways of showing our love to them. We don't need to mortgage our futures for jewelry, charter a jet to a secluded beach, or book a room in a posh hotel to live out that biblical command which is to love and respect our spouse. Here are simple activities that can keep the sizzle in romance and warmth in expressions of our love:

Outwit Hallmark. Give your spouse a homemade love card. Make it on the computer or cut out magazine pictures for the artwork. Extra points: Write an original poem. Unless you're an English teacher, don't worry about the meter and rhyme.

Note your affection. Dot the house with sticky notes expressing your appreciation of each other. Put them in odd places like in the baby's diaper stack ("I love you from the bottom of my heart"), by the toothpaste ("Thinking of you makes me smile"), or the sock drawer ("I'm glad you're my mate").

Send love for lunch. Decorate a spouse's lunch sack or write a sweet note on the paper napkin. Cut a heart out of the orange rind. Use a marking pen to apply your love message to a banana.

Come up with codes. One couple knows that "1-4-3," whether written or spoken, means "I Love You". (The numbers are the number of letters in each word.)

Make it a game. A husband came home to a love message spelled out on a Scrabble board on the living room floor. But be sure to pick it up before the kids awaken.

Leave love reminders. Let absence make the heart grow fonder. I know a wife who before leaving for a weekend conference created a "dummy" for their bed bu stuffing her silky black nightie with her husbands underwear and adding a note-"Can't wait to come home!" A husband leaves his wife notes to open each morning while he's away.

Dim the lights. Gather several small candles in a tray, light them, add some mugs of his/her favorite juice and lead your spouse to a special cuddle-and-talk- place.

Mark "monthiversaries". Grab the calendar and, each month, draw a big heart around the day of the month you were married. Celebrate simply, with a moonlight walk or romantic music on the stereo instead of TV news as dinner background.

Count up your love. Eight anniversary? Give your spouse something with 8 in it and something more original than 8 roses. She might just get excited over a note offering 8 hours away from the kids. He might appreciate 8 tokens for the automatic car wash.

Bag the nag. Do something your spouse has repeatedly asked you to do and you haven't done such as clean up the workbench or deep-clean you clothes closet. Make a big deal of this being your "love job" and be sure to do it cheerfully.
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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Biggest Mistakes Couples Make

According to Helene Rothschild, a family and marriage therapist, there are common mistakes that can undermine one's loving relationship.

The following mistaken beliefs and truths can assist you to create and maintain the loving union that you desire:

Mistake #1. All I have to do is love my partner and all will be perfect.

Truth - Love is not enough to maintain a relationship. You also need to like your partner, create win-win solutions to your problems, and have similar values, goals, and interests. It takes two happy people with high self - esteem and good communications skills t ocreate a healthy relationship.

Mistake # 2. My partner is responsible for my hurt feelings, anger, and frustrations.

Truth - You are totally responsible for all your feelings and actions. Way before you were in your loving relationship, you were influenced by your parents, siblings, teachers, etc. and you made decisions based on your experiences. These decisions cause you to perceive things in the present that may be not true.

For example, if your mother of father was not there for you, you probably decided that you were not good enough, unimportant, unworthy and unlovable. These negative decisions will likely be projected in your partner. therefore, if he /she does not call, your hurt maybe caused by the decision that you are unimportant. The truth is that you are important even if your partner does not call.

Mistake # 3. I am adult now, and my parents have no influence to me.

Truth - Without exception, every client realized that they unconsciously married someone like their mother or father to resolve issues with them.

Mistake #4. Once I am in a committed relationship, I can focus my work, sports, hobbies, etc.,

Truth - A successful relationship requires focus, time and energy. just like everything else that is important to you. If you are hired for a position and you don't work at doing a good job, you are likely to be fired. The same is true in a loving union. It is important not to take each other for granted, and to spend quality time together, read relationship books, take steps to improve your communication.

Mistake # 5. I can treat my partner anyway I choose and we will be together forever.

Truth - If you treat your partner as you would your bestfriend, he/she is more likely to want to stay in the relationship. Everyone likes and deserves appreciation, respect, kindness, attention, affection and compliments. Be as loving as you can, and it will come back to you and strengthen your loving bond.

Now that you have some insights for a healthy relationship, you have a better chance at succeeding. You deserve a fantastic relationship. Go for it!
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Thursday, July 9, 2009

How to Have a Successful Marriage

Everyone wants to have a happy married life. Nobody wants a broken family, the pain of going through divorce or separation, the agony of seeing one's childen suffer resulting from a parent's miserable or chaotic marriage.

I have read an article about a woman who has been married for a long time and share to you how she survived the roller coaster ride of marriage.

Don't Nag. Nagging accomplishess nothing. It only widens the gap between you and your husband. No husband ever appreciates a nagging wife.

Believe. Let your husband feel he can be trusted. This is very hard to do especially when you believe otherwise. Yet, doing so will make him feel good. He will love you more for it. Nothing hurts a husband's ego than when he feels his own wife does not trust him.

Accept. Accept his strenghts and weaknesses. Praise him for his accomplishments and support him during his low moments. When you decided to marry him, you did not marry just a part of him but all of him.

Love yourself. When you love yourself, you have enough love to share with your husband. Loving one's self means, among other things, taking care of your health, practicing healthy hygiene, making yourself attractive for your husband.

Be pleasant. Be pleasant to come home to. A husband may tolerate a messy home but never a quarrelsome wife. Remember that on the job your husband may have attractive and sweet coworkers. Make no room for temptation to come in. Be sure your sweet smile and loving embrace are ready to welcome him home.

Talk. Never assume.Talk things over. A husband and wife will always be able to resolve things by talking. This practice allows one to see through each one's perspective, eventually reaching a compromise.

Listen. Talking accomplishes nothing, however , if neither listens. Before exploding into a barrage of words, listen. It will give you the chance to understand and digest what your partner wants to convey.

Forgive. Be ready to forgive your mate for his misgivings. Forgiveness lightens your heart and gives you freedom to start anew with your mate. This may be hard to do but the relief it gives you is worth the sacrifice.

Share. When you share your thoughts and feelings, it makes it possible for both of you to know each other better.

Be a vegetarian. This may sound weird and out of context but science and experience has taught me however that high intake in flesh foods causes irritability and ill temperament. Thus, eliminate or limit your meat intake of flesh foods for cooler heads.

Trust God. Would you like to be free from anxieties, worries and uncertainties in your marriage? Trust God. You will find it easier to trust your mate completely if you trust God first. With God there is nothing to fear.

Monday, July 6, 2009

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Marital Benefits

There are advantages of being married. Here are some of its benefits:
  • Between the ages 35 and 39, a married man is only half as likely to die as his divorced counterpart.

  • Widowed and divorced people are more likely to consult their doctor, especially for mental disorders.

  • Married people are more likely to survive heart disease and cancer than divorced people.

  • Aged 25 to 44, a married man is only a third as likely to commit suicide as a single, divorced, or separated man.

  • Unmarried people smoke and drink more than married ones. Single women are most likely of all to drink excessively.

So, go and get hitched :))


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