Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Love or Infatuation?

What is love? I've read one definition of love which says " Love is a heterogeneous conglomeration of absurdity calculated to bamboozle the anatomy of the individual who becomes intoxicated with its abominable and irresistible power". Another one says " Love is a feeling you feel when you feel that you're going to get a feeling that you never felt before". Whatever that is, it surely isn't love!

The shortest and most most profound love statement is "God is love". And others would say that it's not that kind of love that they are talking about. Love that is romantic - the hugging and kissing love. But that is the kind of love we are talking about - all true love ->parent for child, husband for wife, girlfriend for boyfriend - all true love comes from God. But for every good thing that God created, the devil has improvised a counterfeit. Love's counterfeit is infatuation. The big question is: how can one discern the counterfeit from the genuine? Here are some differences:

  • Infatuation is ruled by feelings, but love's feelings are ruled by principles. In the field of infatuation, the feelings are in charge. But the problem is that our feelings are fickle. They change easily. Today I feel great so I kiss her. Tomorrow I feel terrible so I kick her. That's not love! True love has feelings, tender feelings which are put in the human heart by a caring God. But love is not composed of feelings only. It is feelings plus principle. Moreover, love is not controlled by feelings. It does not do anything and everything it feels. Rather, in true love, the feelings are under the control of principle.
  • Infatuation is blind, but love sees and examines. Like Cupid, infatuation is blind. When a girl recognizes that her boyfriend is hooked on drugs but still proceeds with plans for marriage, Cupid has wounded her. When a boy observes his girlfriend flirting continuously with other men, but still goes ahead with the love affair, infatuation has blinded him! True love uses its eyes to see and examine weaknesses of the prospective partner. It is not afraid to ask hard questions nor do difficult examinations.
  • Infatuation is in a hurry, but love takes time. Everything of permanent value in life takes time. We can build a shack overnight, but if we are building a house that will stand the fury of a typhoon or hurricane, that takes time. We can put up an artificial Christmas tree overnight, but to grow a real tree takes time. It has to be planted, watered and nourished for weeks, months or years. Love is a plant - a tender, precious plant. Infatuation is ever in a hurry. See her today, court her tomorrow and marry her the day after!Growing a relationship takes time and God expects couples in love to "grow up".
  • Infatuation is obsessed with externals, but love is concerned with internals. Puppy love is obsessed with the figure, is a slave to fashion, and is intoxicated with sex appeal. True love admires the figure, appreciates appropriate fashion, and anticipates sexual intimacy within the bond of marriage. But these are not the greatest concerns of true love. True love is more concerned with the personality, the kind of person the partner really is. Love examines the habits, the inner virtues or vices. True love pays attention to the character, the inner self.
  • Infatuation is childish but love is mature. Childish and selfish love has little or no concern for the other. It is self-centered. But true love is concerned with the welfare of one's partner. Infatuation cries for gratification today regardless of the consequences later. But true love refrains from enjoying today that which it will regret tomorrow. Infatuation thinks and behaves like a child, but true love is mature - it has put childish ways behind.
  • Infatuation is a human ditch, but love is a divine ladder. One goes down the other goes up. infatuation is a ditch into which blindfolded people fall, but love is a ladder onto which wide-eyed people climb. so, while infatuation is a human pit, true love is a divine ladder. And every person has the freedom to choose between the tragedy of one and the triumph of the other.
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Things Every Wife Should Know about her Husband

It is vital that husband and wife must understand each other to experience marital success. Here are facts about men that the woman should master to understand her partner.

  • He is Proud to be a Man. While society tends to belittle the woman, it is programed to feed the ego of the man. Since the man believes he is big, it is counterproductive for a woman to constantly belittle him. Since the man thinks he is great, a perceptive woman will respect him. A wise wife does not serve him dishes of humiliation, rather she provides a feast of admiration.
  • He Shows Love in Tangible Terms. We have said that love should be frequently expressed in verbal terms - the loving words we say. Love may be shown in aesthetic ways - the tender tokens we give. But many men are most comfortable in revealing love in tangible terms - the pesos and centavos. After all, if the former are present and the latter is absent, wouldn't there be justification of questioning love?
  • He Makes Decisions Differently. In general, men are more left brained than women. This means that a man tends to process data logically and sequentially, proceeding from cause to effect. So, in solving problems, the woman is more likely to be subjective and the man, more objective. While the wife uses her gift of intuition, the husband uses his skills of reason. An understanding of these differences will help to minimize conflict. Rather than repel, these differences should attract partners to one another, enabling each to welcome each other's points of view for the enrichment of the decision making process.
  • A Man Likes His Wife to be Attractive. Before marriage, a woman takes great care to be as attractive as possible to her mate. But sometimes, after marriage, she devotes less care to her appearance, taking the marital relationship for granted. Every wife should help to provide an answer to her husband's prayer "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one". If ever he was being tempted elsewhere, when a husband arrives home, the temptation should vanish in the sprkle of his wife's beauty and the perfume of her embrace.
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Saturday, October 10, 2009

Secrets to a Successful Marriage

It's always interesting to see old people walking together, holding hands, being so sweet with each other. And I wonder how their relationship remained so strong in so many years that they have been together when I see a lot of broken marriages and broken families. In a book entitled "I Love You" by Gordon Martinborough, which I have been reading lately, he tells about the three big secrets of a happy marriage.

First secret is loving yourself. What does it have to do with a happy marriage? If you do not love yourself, you make yourself unlovable! In other words, you make it difficult for others to love you. After all, whoever wants to marry Mr. or Miss Misery? And if you do not love yourself it is difficult for you to give love to somebody else for you cannot share what you do not have.

Second secret is the self sacrificing love. A kind of love that puts the desire of the other above and before the needs of one's self is the quality of love that constitutes the second secret of a successful marriage. While the first key to a successful marriage is to love oneself, the second secret is to love your partner better than yourself. If each partner will practice this principle, most marital problems will disappear.

The third secret , the most important ingredient of a successful marriage," Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind"(Luke 10:27). What does loving God have to do with a loving, happy marriage? The answer is simple but profound "God is love" (1 John 4:8).

A happy marriage may be likened to a triangle with Christ at the apex and husband and wife at the corners of the base. When the partners are far from Christ, they remain distant from each other. As each spouse moves toward Jesus, they get closer to one another. And when each connects with Christ, they become connected to each other. Love for God is the primary secret of a successful marriage.
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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Top Ten EC Droppers for September

I would like to say THANK YOU to my top ten EC droppers for September. Here they are...Drum roll please....:)

1. All Stace, All the Time
2. RealityTalkBlog
3. Fantasy Brunch
4. technochest
5. Download Free CSS Templates
6. From This Side
7. Avon Romance Blog
8. Chaos Tech
9. Dogs Deserve Freedom


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