Tuesday Quotable Toots

Where your pleasure is, there is your treasure:

where your treasure, there your heart;

where your heart, there your happiness.

-Augustine

Building Healthy Relationship with your Mate

I have read an interesting article about how to build a healthy relationship with one's mate. Some of its contents are common and I'm sure you guys have read it already somewhere else but as it is said, we keep on repeating important things is our lives so I'm sharing them to you.

As we have known, relationships are like flowers that have to be taken cared of, nurtured and cultivated. If we want the flowers in our garden to bloom and not wither, we make a conscious effort to water them everyday, cultivate the soil around them. Same with our relationships, we should be willing to do a little work if we wanted to hold the promise of a more committed, loving and fulfilling relationship.

Here are intimacy-building resolutions to make the couple happy as discussed by top relationship experts.

Listen, with the TV off. Listening, truly listening can reduce conflict, boost trust, and lead to a more satisfying partnership. Listening may sound simple, but it requires more than being in the same room while your better half is speaking. Signal that you care by turning off the television , offering your undivided attention and making eye contact t. And don't forget to follow-up on what you hear.

Focus on relationship positives. When you first meet someone, you pay attention to all the things you like. As time goes on, you start to take that for granted and instead you focus on what bothers you. If the relationship becomes more negative than positive, you break up. The solution is to make a conscious effort to focus on the things you like your partner. Your partner has many good qualities, as well as things that drive you crazy.

Stop nagging. Nagging not only creates tension , it usually gets you nowhere. If you're nagging, your partner will tune you out. If someone is not giving you what you want, think about what you are doing. It's not working, what ca you do instead? Have a dialogue. Instead of saying what you don't like, say what you would prefer. Give alternatives. Remember to balance any criticisms with a heavy dose of positive feedback.

Spend more time together. You've probably heard it before - make dates and keep them. Putting couple time on your calendar reinforces your sense of dedication to each other. Make this special times private by not including others.

Touch more often. Physical communication is as important as emotional communication in a relationship. It relieves tension and shows your partner that you care. Physically being in contact with your partner breaks through a lot of ice. Go out of your way to kiss and hug during the day. Always sleep together in same bed. Just assume you're going to have sex every night, if only possible. It's hard to fight when you're having great sex.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all Moms out there!

Men are Polygamous by Nature?

Ms. W and me are very close to each other. We bond together all the time and we are inseparable. We may have different perspectives in life but we love each other and we empathize each other in turbulent times of our lives and we lift up each other's spirit.

She was madly in love for the first time when we both were in second year college. No matter how much advice I have given her, she followed the dictates of her heart and later on got pregnant to a fellow student who like her, was not stable yet. Her parents' world crumbled when they learned about it. She's intelligent and her parents had so much trust and hope on her. In spite of what happened, her parents remained very open minded. They had a church wedding. Her parents supported her so she continued her schooling until she finally graduated in college and landed a job for herself.

Her husband on the other hand did not finish his studies due to financial constraints. She became the breadwinner of the family. In spite of the odds that they have been through, their family remained strong. They are a picture of one happy family. Until one day, she found out that her husband had an affair with another woman. The girl would send text messages or call her husband. At first her husband denied it but later on, admitted the affair and finally leave her and their daughter and lived with his mistress.

This real-life story is not new to us. There are lot of these cases in the community...in our society...The latest that made to headlines is that of vice-presidentiable Binay on her extramarital affair with a young lady which is now spreading over the net.

I also have a not-so -good experience of a married man who got attracted to me. This happened when I was still a fresh grad in college. We worked in the same company and he would frequent to my office. I just ignored him until my close office mates noticed him and teased me. One day, out of the blue, he told me that he was attracted with me. I just shrugged it off for I know he's a married man and I'll never be a home wrecker. I told him that he's married and that he should focus his attention to his family. I was kinda shocked by his answer, "Men are polygamous by nature". There was a time that I was absent for several days and when I reported for work, he suddenly hugged me and told me that he terribly missed me. That's when I cried foul. I was at a loss and from that time on, I avoided him anymore and finally resigned.


Friends, is it true that men are polygamous by nature? With my personal experience and the situation that Ms. W. is now in, I can't help myself to think that maybe there's a grain of truth in the statement of my former office mate. But I also think that maybe not all men are the same and that maybe that statement does not apply to all because there are also countless men who are faithful, committed and remained true to their vow.

I look forward to your thoughts and opinions my dear readers and friends.

Tuesday Quotable Toots

The best preacher is heart;
The best teacher is time;
The best book is the world;
The best friend is God.

-Talmud