Saturday, January 16, 2010

Let guys into your world and don't scare them away

There are girls/ women I know who are pretty, talented and yet they seem to scare men away from them. Some of them we labeled NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth). Deep inside, they long for somebody to be with, to get to know with someone. How to to let guys into your world and not scare them away? Here we go...

Being an untamed shrew. Any guy or person for that matter would probably not want to go where he is not wanted. The same thing goes for potential love interests. People are curious about the girl who can cut off the knees but once the thrill of the chase is gone, the interest and whatever feelings may be present soon follow suit. At the same time, an icy misdemeanor and a sharp tongue will make a lot of would-be suitors look somewhere else easily.

So, what's the right attitude to take? It really depends on one's personality. The best thing to do is to always remember that you are a lady, and a lady must carry herself with dignity and gentility. An openness to friendship without overly eager can also go a long way in showing that a girl is worthy to be met and pursued.

Asking too many questions. Of course, wanting to know someone is a good thing and asking so many questions is the easiest way to do it. But when it comes to matters of the heart, can there be too much of a good thing? In a word yes, Many guys are by nature, not very talkative and at the same time, there are matters they prefer not to discuss too much. So when girls ask too many questions about things they deem personal, it makes them uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough, to avoid girls who possess this habit.

So what are you gonna do? There's no easy way to get rid of this tendency but the best thing to do is to be as sensitive as possible. Guys are usually quote transparent when it comes to showing discomfort. So when getting to know a guy, observe how he reacts to different topics. If he starts squirming in his seat, redirect the conversation. He will be thankful for it, and you will be setting more the stage for him to be more open with you in the future.

Acting like a damsel in too much distress. Admittedly, guys like a girl who can make them feel needed. But being helpless to extremes may be an automatic red flag, especially considering how much females value gender equality these days. Relying on guys for everything, from driving to to walking to the dog can make guys feel like they are simply being used and seeing a girl act like this can make guys think twice about even just coming up to say hi.

So, what shall you do? There's really no need to act like a full-on princess just to make men feel needed. Learning to do things on your own gives you a better appreciation of the things around you including the help you received. It also makes you down-to-earth, and thus, approachable. That's something the guy will definitely take notice of.

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kikamz said...

hello sam! i guess your whole name is samantha too? just like my lil girl's. anyway, love your post about women not scaring guys away. i have a number of girlfriends myself who are NBSB. they should read this! hehe!

btw, interested in xlinks? i already added you on my bloglist and also followed you on google friend connect. hope you can drop by my site at Just About Anything. thanks!

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