Biggest Mistakes Couples Make

According to Helene Rothschild, a family and marriage therapist, there are common mistakes that can undermine one's loving relationship.

The following mistaken beliefs and truths can assist you to create and maintain the loving union that you desire:

Mistake #1. All I have to do is love my partner and all will be perfect.

Truth - Love is not enough to maintain a relationship. You also need to like your partner, create win-win solutions to your problems, and have similar values, goals, and interests. It takes two happy people with high self - esteem and good communications skills t ocreate a healthy relationship.

Mistake # 2. My partner is responsible for my hurt feelings, anger, and frustrations.

Truth - You are totally responsible for all your feelings and actions. Way before you were in your loving relationship, you were influenced by your parents, siblings, teachers, etc. and you made decisions based on your experiences. These decisions cause you to perceive things in the present that may be not true.

For example, if your mother of father was not there for you, you probably decided that you were not good enough, unimportant, unworthy and unlovable. These negative decisions will likely be projected in your partner. therefore, if he /she does not call, your hurt maybe caused by the decision that you are unimportant. The truth is that you are important even if your partner does not call.

Mistake # 3. I am adult now, and my parents have no influence to me.

Truth - Without exception, every client realized that they unconsciously married someone like their mother or father to resolve issues with them.

Mistake #4. Once I am in a committed relationship, I can focus my work, sports, hobbies, etc.,

Truth - A successful relationship requires focus, time and energy. just like everything else that is important to you. If you are hired for a position and you don't work at doing a good job, you are likely to be fired. The same is true in a loving union. It is important not to take each other for granted, and to spend quality time together, read relationship books, take steps to improve your communication.

Mistake # 5. I can treat my partner anyway I choose and we will be together forever.

Truth - If you treat your partner as you would your bestfriend, he/she is more likely to want to stay in the relationship. Everyone likes and deserves appreciation, respect, kindness, attention, affection and compliments. Be as loving as you can, and it will come back to you and strengthen your loving bond.

Now that you have some insights for a healthy relationship, you have a better chance at succeeding. You deserve a fantastic relationship. Go for it!

How to Have a Successful Marriage

Everyone wants to have a happy married life. Nobody wants a broken family, the pain of going through divorce or separation, the agony of seeing one's childen suffer resulting from a parent's miserable or chaotic marriage.

I have read an article about a woman who has been married for a long time and share to you how she survived the roller coaster ride of marriage.

Don't Nag. Nagging accomplishess nothing. It only widens the gap between you and your husband. No husband ever appreciates a nagging wife.

Believe. Let your husband feel he can be trusted. This is very hard to do especially when you believe otherwise. Yet, doing so will make him feel good. He will love you more for it. Nothing hurts a husband's ego than when he feels his own wife does not trust him.

Accept. Accept his strenghts and weaknesses. Praise him for his accomplishments and support him during his low moments. When you decided to marry him, you did not marry just a part of him but all of him.

Love yourself. When you love yourself, you have enough love to share with your husband. Loving one's self means, among other things, taking care of your health, practicing healthy hygiene, making yourself attractive for your husband.

Be pleasant. Be pleasant to come home to. A husband may tolerate a messy home but never a quarrelsome wife. Remember that on the job your husband may have attractive and sweet coworkers. Make no room for temptation to come in. Be sure your sweet smile and loving embrace are ready to welcome him home.

Talk. Never assume.Talk things over. A husband and wife will always be able to resolve things by talking. This practice allows one to see through each one's perspective, eventually reaching a compromise.

Listen. Talking accomplishes nothing, however , if neither listens. Before exploding into a barrage of words, listen. It will give you the chance to understand and digest what your partner wants to convey.

Forgive. Be ready to forgive your mate for his misgivings. Forgiveness lightens your heart and gives you freedom to start anew with your mate. This may be hard to do but the relief it gives you is worth the sacrifice.

Share. When you share your thoughts and feelings, it makes it possible for both of you to know each other better.

Be a vegetarian. This may sound weird and out of context but science and experience has taught me however that high intake in flesh foods causes irritability and ill temperament. Thus, eliminate or limit your meat intake of flesh foods for cooler heads.

Trust God. Would you like to be free from anxieties, worries and uncertainties in your marriage? Trust God. You will find it easier to trust your mate completely if you trust God first. With God there is nothing to fear.