Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all Moms out there!

Men are Polygamous by Nature?

Ms. W and me are very close to each other. We bond together all the time and we are inseparable. We may have different perspectives in life but we love each other and we empathize each other in turbulent times of our lives and we lift up each other's spirit.

She was madly in love for the first time when we both were in second year college. No matter how much advice I have given her, she followed the dictates of her heart and later on got pregnant to a fellow student who like her, was not stable yet. Her parents' world crumbled when they learned about it. She's intelligent and her parents had so much trust and hope on her. In spite of what happened, her parents remained very open minded. They had a church wedding. Her parents supported her so she continued her schooling until she finally graduated in college and landed a job for herself.

Her husband on the other hand did not finish his studies due to financial constraints. She became the breadwinner of the family. In spite of the odds that they have been through, their family remained strong. They are a picture of one happy family. Until one day, she found out that her husband had an affair with another woman. The girl would send text messages or call her husband. At first her husband denied it but later on, admitted the affair and finally leave her and their daughter and lived with his mistress.

This real-life story is not new to us. There are lot of these cases in the community...in our society...The latest that made to headlines is that of vice-presidentiable Binay on her extramarital affair with a young lady which is now spreading over the net.

I also have a not-so -good experience of a married man who got attracted to me. This happened when I was still a fresh grad in college. We worked in the same company and he would frequent to my office. I just ignored him until my close office mates noticed him and teased me. One day, out of the blue, he told me that he was attracted with me. I just shrugged it off for I know he's a married man and I'll never be a home wrecker. I told him that he's married and that he should focus his attention to his family. I was kinda shocked by his answer, "Men are polygamous by nature". There was a time that I was absent for several days and when I reported for work, he suddenly hugged me and told me that he terribly missed me. That's when I cried foul. I was at a loss and from that time on, I avoided him anymore and finally resigned.


Friends, is it true that men are polygamous by nature? With my personal experience and the situation that Ms. W. is now in, I can't help myself to think that maybe there's a grain of truth in the statement of my former office mate. But I also think that maybe not all men are the same and that maybe that statement does not apply to all because there are also countless men who are faithful, committed and remained true to their vow.

I look forward to your thoughts and opinions my dear readers and friends.

Tuesday Quotable Toots

The best preacher is heart;
The best teacher is time;
The best book is the world;
The best friend is God.

-Talmud

Time heals wounds

I have a friend who have been very close to me. We go to the same workplace together. Our house are just a few steps away. We were inseparable, some would say. We talked about anything and everything, from love life, careers, dreams, aspirations. We would confide with each other about the latest news that we know in the workplace, in our personal lives and of course we empathize and help each other in times when we have problems. We are similar in many ways but we are also very different in some aspects of our lives.

One day, we have a falling out. For some reasons, we feel like we are suffocated with our closeness. We became very distant with each other and we separate our ways. Our relationship has gone from sweet into sour, from good into worse. We reached a point that we don't talk with each other and we abhor each other's presence. I know there's something wrong with us -failed expectations, unbalanced and non-symbiotic relationship.

Three years past, we accidentally bumped with each other. I forget that we were not in "good terms" that I had a big smile for her when we saw each other face to face but she snobbed me and had that look as if saying "who are you"?. I just laughed myself off because I don't hold any grudge anymore and there's nothing to lose when you smile even when it's not reciprocated.

Another chance, we met and this time, she's the one who made a casual talk with me as if nothing happens. I just talked with her as well and I found out that she's not talking also to her close friend recently for a very superficial reason and a common friend would joke that she wants one enemy at a time. Nevertheless, I'm glad that we are back into speaking terms and even if we are not as close as we used to be but we are back to being friends again. I believe time heals wounds with the aid of divine intervention.

Easter Greetings

Hello my friends, visitors and readers. Happy Easter to everyone:)

Relational Dialectics and Love

Love is the most powerful feeling in the world.We talk about it, we learn some things from it, we read a lot about it.

Ditch from reading those self-help books and magazines and say hello to this interpersonal communication theory called Relational Dialectics. It's a dialectical perspectives on communication strategies in relationship development. This theory suggests that between a communicating relationship, the persons involved will experience " internal, conflicting pulls". This causes their relationship to be in constant state of unrest called dialectical tension.

There are three dialectical tensions. Here they are, along with some tips on how to handle them.

Connectedness and Separateness - It's normal for individuals to spend time together when in a relationship. However, when each of them don't get enough time and space to spend alone, they lose their individual identities because of too much connection.

It's sickening to be in a company of the same person 24/7. The key to handling this kind of dialectic tension is to give each other space. Every human being needs some time alone.

Certainty and Uncertainty. Persons involved in a relationship acknowledge predictability and a sense of assurance to each other. But too much of this makes a relationship boring. Monotony sucks.

A little mystery and spontaniety is what keeps a relationship going. Keep this in mind - you can never get to know your partner to the bone. To constantly discover something exciting about your partner is a sign of a good relationship.

Openness and Closedness - In a relationship, partners sometimes tend to feel compelled to be transparent and reveal everything! This results to an individual's contrasting desire to seek privacy.

Seriously, do you always have to tell your partner what you had for lunch? Do you always have to show him/her your email or phone's inbox? Do you always have to know who your partner is with? Always consider privacy. Acknowledge that the closer you and your partner become to one another, the more conflict will arise to pull you apart. A relationship will constantly experience dialectical tensions. Skillfully handling these tensions will help you have a superb relationship.

Tuesday Quotable Toots

Treasure the love you receive above all.

It will survive long after your good health has vanished

-Og Mandino